Penultimate Day of Holiday

This morning, I feel a mixed bag of triumphant and disgusting.

I feel triumphant because I have learned to relax a lot this week regarding the children’s routines and the boys have been very happy in general.

Despite going for 2 runs, my eating habits have been terrible and getting worse; I am slipping back into old habits.  For example, I had fruit for breakfast today but then had a yorkshire pudding with gravy for lunch…followed by a treacle sponge with custard.  Dinner wasn’t so bad, chicken risotto followed by fresh fruit and cream.  I also had a cookie this afternoon.  Looking in the mirror, I physically look fatter and flabbier.  I haven’t kept up with my abdominal exercises.  I suppose I have been fairly active, walking to and from the beach and around the town each day but not enough to justify what I have been eating.

I don’t have the confidence to run alone tonight, and husband has hurt his ankle.  I am glad we had a couple of runs,  one being on the beach, whilst we have been away and I intend to go to the gym when we get back.

I feel anxious about getting back; what if something has happened to the house?

I am behind on my mindfulness course and begin the last week on Monday; will I be able to pick up where I left with my CBT?  I have noticed on holiday that I think people just assume I am anxious and/or incapable all the time and treat me thus, and as soon as I become aware of these thoughts it changes y behaviour and view of myself.

I do think I am a good mum though; toddler in particular has had an awesome week and the weeny one has been doing so well with his weaning. Have had a great week myself, food and weight issues aside, and I look forward to getting back home and back into a healthy eating pattern again.


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