So I was walking back from the gym this evening and noted my thoughts on my physical appearance both in the mirror at the gym and reflected in the shop windows on the way home. I noticed firstly that I didn’t look like a tomato whilst I was working out. This isn’t due to some miraculous sudden increase in fitness (boo!) but due to the fact that now I am back working again I feel the need to wear make-up, including foundation which was the main reason for a more nomal-coloured face. I noticed the changes in my body so far as well. All over I am looking and feeling more toned. Particularly in my face, neck, arms and legs.
I could actually see my reflection clearly as well because for the first time in about 3 weeks I am wearing my contact lenses again – hello peripheral vision I have missed you!
It’s cool as well to notice how many calories I am burning. Not that I count calories when eating, it’s a measure of how hard my body is working using the same machinery for the same amount of time but being able to increase the intensity. It was on the way back I noticed that my stomach still isn’t as flat as I would like it to be that I realised I am a work in progress, mentally and physically. I realise I will probably always be a work in progress, and I’m cool with that as I enjoy personal development and learning. I think I had been so focused on my stomach, or my “mum tum” I had lost sight of the positive changes elsewhere.
Mentally, I’m back thinking “Oh shit I have a CBT appointment on Thursday and yet again don’t feel like I have made any progress!”.
After letting toddler play with a balloon before I burst it (then felt guilty, blew him up another one but it got a bit much so husband hid it) I have done nothing – apart from install an app on my phone called “DBT distress tools” as part of addressing my distress intolerance. The main thing I have taken away from it initially is to do things willingly.
Rather than take for granted doing ay task, whether it’s self-care, cleaning, looking after the children, tidying or exercising to exercise it with a feeling of willingness and being in the moment, not just trudging along because I have to. Very much mindfulness principle which is probably why it really spoke to me.
So for now, I am doing things willingly. It makes life seem a lot more positive, without meaning to sound cheesy. I’ve even been driving a lot more – only to work and back – but I’ve still been doing it!