I know that by keeping this blog, it’s only for myself. Anyone who reads it, let alone likes or follows it is a bonus. And the purpose of it is to document my CBT journey, specifically my phobia of balloons. Therefore I will only let myself down if I don’t see it to completion. I feel recently that I haven’t made any progress, I may have said before because I am getting further up the hierarchy I am more reluctant to do anything about it which is the worst thing I can do.
In my head I am reminding myself to do things willingly, and I feel like I want to but there’s a mental barrier in the way which I have built yet can’t/won’t break down. Tonight I’m feeling it pretty hard because I was meat to go for a run but my running partner cancelled and because my plans were changed it made me feel off for the rest of the evening, where the slightest excuses are used e.g. I’m not going to the gym instead because it’s raining.
Also, my car.
It was towed away on Friday evening to a garage because it stalled and the gearbox got stuck. The garage took it for a drive on Saturday, found nothing wrong with it and apparently drove 10 miles so I went to collect it. As soon as I had driven less than a mile it happened again so I took it to a different garage who have advised husband and I it’s going to cost over £400 to replace the clutch.
So this afternoon we went to the Vauxhall dealership to have a look at a potential new car, and are interested in a 4 year old Corsa. The monthly payments are quite high but we could afford it, and also you have the security of it being from a garage who personally know all of the car’s service history (it’s only had one other owner). But husband wants to have a look at a general used car sales garage who have an offer on if you part exchange your old car- meaning if it was accepted we would still have to pay to get the clutch fixed on our current one.
Current car is going to hopefully be recovered to our home tomorrow. So currently, we don’t have a driveable car . Ugh.