I am currently trying to clamber over a hurdle. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t graceful, and more often than not I am landing in mud. I am learning so much about Mindfulness yet am struggling to put it into practice, letting everyday occurrences and my own ego get in the way. I feel like I have no power over myself, and this is affecting my mood. Sometimes it feels like there’s a barrier between how I am behaving and how I want to behave and ultimately be.
My attitude to past, present and future events mostly relate to my diet. i have good intentions to eat better and exercise more but I focus too much on enjoying unhealthy food NOW, telling myself I will eat better in the future to make up for it. Unfortunately for me, this future does not and never will exist as long as I am not present in my current healthy eating goals. So right now, I am being present in it by ignoring the salted caramel fudge in the fridge and bag of popcorn by the toaster. If I can get through this evening without eating any of them I will be proud, as pitiful as that may sound.
Referring to my last post, it’s the being I’m struggling with! This leads me to share my latest insight through study; the authentic self. So, apparently there are 5 simple ways to move to a more authentic self. This is according to one author so I shall give my views for each one.
- Appreciate Kindness. (This is something I try to do anyway, whether it’s directed at me or an opportunity to show it to others. I think we should all be kind in general, so I like this and can live with it.
- Listen to people’s stories with full attention, not just politely, because they matter. (Absolutely agree, and I am guilty of not doing this, usually when I am wrapped up in reading something, watching something, playing a game or otherwise occupied. I mean on a day-to-day level, sometimes it might not be appropriate.)
- Ask a colleague for their opinion on something not work-related (currently, I am self-employed although I do work with my mum. it is something I have practiced anyway in previous roles and would also give opportunity to exercise point 2.)
- (ITalk to anyone who approaches you in the street whether begging, trying to sell something or doing a survey. (I don’t feel comfortable doing this; usually I have my boys with me and at aged 1 and 2 I would rather get to where I am going with no delay, distraction, meltdown or fire.)
- Don’t take mobile phone calls when with someone. Concentrate fully on being with them. (Guilty of not doing this one this afternoon with having a drink with my best friend; husband was messaging me updates with what he and the boys were doing at home! I totally get not texting or using social media, however I wouldn’t want to not be accessible by phone due to a small with possible ASD and a small with allergies.)
It would be interesting to see how these suggestions lead to the authentic self but at the very least would lead to being more present, focusing attention and making others and yourself feel more valued and respected which can never be a bad thing.
I find, as I mentioned above, that my barriers to my own authentic self are anxiety, phobia and my tendency to catastrophise things. I am also guilty of pretending to have knowledge of things I don’t in order to gain favour from another person; it’s best just to be honest and learn from and listen to them than pretend and potentially look foolish further down the line. It’s also to be honest with your opinions and, well, don’t be a dick.
As part of my own study, I also answered questionnaires on whether I tended to fixate on the past, future or present; authenticity regarding whether i have issues and what effect those have on my life and concentration, how much attention I give to certain aspects of my life including listening and reading. I have chosen to keep my answers to these private so it’s something I can reflect on again in the future.
Thank you for reading this post. Although I have primarily written it for me, I welcome any outside guidance or comments. A lovely gentleman called Luke in my previous post linked me to his podcasts – well, one in particular but I enjoyed it so much I found his website, downloaded all the material I could sign up for and plan to enjoy further podcasts (even installed iTunes on laptop so I could!) – so already writing in this medium is paying off! Here is the website http://herohealthroom.com/
There, I got to the end of the post and still haven’t eaten the fudge or popcorn. I am going to take part in some more study, reflection and have a peaceful, mindful sunday evening!